The holidays are just around the corner. That means family, friends, decorations, yummy food, and merriment all around. But most importantly, it also means GIFTS. So Santa, (or whoever is bringing us gifts this year. Who knows? It may be from “daddy.”) Here are 7 gifts that we actually want for Christmas this year.

1. To wake up from this nightmare and have Hillary be our president elect

Wouldn’t it be nice to wake up from this horrific nightmare to have our president elect be Hillary Clinton? Wouldn’t it be nice if America weren't conned by a racist, xenophobic, misogynistic narcissist? Wouldn’t it be nice if Trump and his actions didn’t normalize bigotry and hatred? That would be a really nice Christmas gift. So Santa, please, take heed, and put your elves on it, would ya?

2. To find the perfect boyfriend

I just want a guy who’s caring, funny, smart, handsome, gregarious, wealthy, creative, versatile sexually, emotionally mature, baggage-less, communicative, honest, and can deal with all of my crazy bullshit. Oh, and he should love all the same shows and foods that I do. Is that really too much to ask for?

3. To end all isms and bigotry[iframe https://giphy.com/embed/S6ZsUfl5MRcGI allowfullscreen="" class=^{{"giphy-embed"}}^ frameborder="0" height="270" width="480"]

To end racism, sexism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, xenophobia, classism, ableism, and all other social inequities that I’ve left off the list. Santa, seriously, is it really that hard?

4. A lifetime supply of condoms, PrEP, and lube

That stuff ain’t cheap, especially, PrEP, if it’s not covered by insurance (or if you have a high deductible). Could you please just give us a lifetime supply, so we don’t have to worry about whether we have all our safe sex accoutrements, or if Truvada is going to be covered by insurance.  

5. Accurate depictions of race and body types in the media[iframe https://giphy.com/embed/Wyf4PgxilAZsk allowfullscreen="" class=^{{"giphy-embed"}}^ frameborder="0" height="321" width="480"]

It would be awesome to see all of our bodies and races depicted in the media. Not just hunky, beefy dudes who look like they’re out of an Abercrombie catalog. (I mean, keep a few, cause I’m a basic biddy who still likes looking at muscle hunks.)   

6. An in-house gym

Not even to necessarily use. I mean, of course, I’d tell myself I’d use it every day, but let’s be real for a second. I just want to have the OPTION to use it every day and then to feel guilty for not using it. 

7. The most AMAZING Boyfriend[iframe https://giphy.com/embed/GIQotCksIr8D6 allowfullscreen="" class=^{{"giphy-embed"}}^ frameborder="0" height="271" width="480"]

Okay, so I don’t think I touched on this enough. I mean, like a REALLY amazing boyfriend. I know, I know. I don’t need a man to make me happy or whole. And I can be content by myself and all that crap. But let’s be real for a second. Most of us have been single long enough. We love ourselves PLENTY. We now just want a perfect guy to love us as much.

Happy Holidays!