Bottoming takes a lot of work. There's a lot of prep work that's involved when it comes to (for lack of better words) opening that part of yourself up for someone, so it's extremely infuriating when you've gone through the trouble of getting ready to bottom, only to have the person who was supposed to be topping you cancel at the last minute.
That's the struggle Twitter user @FloralAndy is talking about in a hilarious (but all too real) viral video he posted to his account back in February.
None— Sue Pernintendo (@Sue Pernintendo) 1582514395
In the clip, Andy recalls how he woke up one morning and felt the strong urge to bottom. (Same, tbh.) Though he says he is mostly a top, he decided to arrange a hookup with someone to get his fix in and have his bottoming needs met. But after hours of prep work and fixing up his place to set the mood, he got canceled on at the last minute—and he was absolutely not happy about it. (And we don't blame him!)
"I spent a ton of time in here (in the bathroom on the toilet), and then I was also considerate and lit a candle, and then I was also considerate and made my bed which I never do, and then I laid out a towel which I never do because I’m not a very considerate person and all of a sudden, I don't know, wanting to bottom makes me nice," he recalls. "And then he canceled!"
"I swear to god, I’m going to run for public office and I’m going to make this illegal! I'm going to criminalize it! I’ve never once canceled on someone and I’m very proud of that!"
Speaking to Pink News about his ill-fated attempt at bottoming for someone, Andy said "I’ve always hypothetically known that the process is time-consuming and somewhat emotionally draining: taking Imodium hours earlier, starting other prep hours earlier, showering, cleaning, lighting a candle, then losing hope and getting progressively angrier as the clock ticks," An hour after we were supposed to meet (and after my stomach was full of tacos and guac) he texted me to say he had an 'unforeseen roommate dispute and am no longer available.' I’m pretty sure that means he murdered his roommate, but who knows!"
He concluded:
"I stand in solidarity with bottoms now more than ever. Tops should be more considerate in their bookings—being an upfront adult can save everyone a lot of time and emotional energy."
Making last-minute hookup cancellations illegal? Now THAT'S a platform we can get behind! Andy has our vote!
