Happy early Halloween! Deadline's already got the treats covered: the Disney Channel is in the beginning stages of work on a TV movie remake of Hocus Pocus. You know, the movie you watch every October that holds sacred ground in your nostaligatoire of '90s paraphernalia.
Within the hour, we had the hot takes:
— BuzzFeed (@BuzzFeed) September 28, 2017
— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) September 28, 2017
Which, like, yeah. But before we get our knickers in a collective twist...
To recap, Bette Midler was down in 2014 for a sequel, telling Reddit users during an AMA, "Inundate the Disney company, because I have canvassed the girls and they are wiling to do it, but we have no say in it, so if you want a HOCUS POCUS 2 [caps-emphasis Midler's, but useful], ask the Walt Disney company."
We're getting a remake, y'all. If the original cast couldn't convince Disney to move forward with a sequel, your e-rage may not be the tweet that tips the scale. We all know the HP2 would be amazing, but it's evidently not happening.
Moving on, optimum PR timing could schedule the remake for release by the 25th anniversary of the film — originally released in 1993. That's in a year! Between now and then, let's pester the pumpkin seeds out of Disney with useful questions, like:
When was the last time you watched anything on the ABC (now Freeform) or the Disney Channel? Because that's where it'll be as far as we can tell. So... Catch the live stream if you don't want to have to register for an account.
Will both leading male characters have mid-parts? Because if that's a no, then I'm tapping out.
Entertainment Weekly reports a "new iteration" of the story, while BuzzFeed News reports a "new incarnation"… Which begs the question: is the remake more of a sequel? Kind of smells like a loophole in the argument, fueling the fire as to why we're getting a new cast.
Will James Franco play Jay? He's SO versatile, like, why not.
If we don't get the original witches, will we get cameos? And if we don't, will they mail us the heads of Disney execs?
Leave your burning questions in the comments, and together we'll lob them at Disney PR. And just remember, if they mess up your fave, let it roll into the void and keep your Halloween ritual undisturbed. Remake, rinse and repeat.
Editor's Note: A previous version of this article stated that the Disney Channel is now Freeform. It is not. ABC is now Freeform.