'Bio-baiting' is the latest toxic trend, but is it fooling LGBTQ+ daters? Experts weigh in

What is ‘bio-baiting’?

“Bio-baiting” is a new toxic dating trend that has cropped up this year — yay 2025! The newly coined term, refers to the act of “exaggerating or over-curating one’s online dating profile bio to appear more appealing than reality,” Dr. Bashan tells PRIDE.

Essentially, you are trying to bait someone into dating you by embellishing your dating bio. “Ah, bio-baiting, another not so honest dating practice,” Cotter says. “Bio-baiting is when someone creates a super misleading dating profile bio that really talks them up to be something that they are in fact not, with the intention of attracting someone under false pretenses.”

The problem with this practice is that not only are you lying about who you are — something that will eventually come out — but bio-bating also erodes trust so that even when the truth comes out, it will be hard to get past and move on. “Unlike full deception or catfishing, bio-baiting involves selective self-presentation that leads to disappointment or mistrust when expectations don’t match real life,” Dr. Bashan explains. “It’s a popular term that reflects the inauthenticity we’re seeing in dating culture.”

Are LGBTQ+ people more likely to engage in or experience ‘bio-baiting’?

While Cotter says that bio-baiting isn’t specific to the LGBTQ+ community and anyone has “the potential to be deceptive” and use a “manipulative dating strategy,” Dr. Bashan believes that queer people are more likely to engage in this toxic trend because they’ve have likely faced discrimination and marginalization that might lead them to lie about themselves out of a desire to gain privacy and anonymity for their own safety.

“They may craft narratives or bios that are more guarded or more similar to the run of the mill profiles that one sees online today to protect their identity and avoid discrimination,” Dr. Bashan says. “There is also a possibility that LGBTQ+ folks who have faced repeated rejection and discrimination may increase their attractiveness by stretching the truth to gain acceptance and connection online.”

What is the psychology behind why someone would do this to a person they’ve been dating? 

Some people think that they’ll increase their chances of matching with someone they’re interested in if they lie or spruce up their dating bio. This can stem from a lack of confidence that leads people to think it’s the best option for success in dating. “Someone may feel being honest about who they are and what they bring to the table just isn’t enough, especially in the TikTok and IG world we’re living in today where people are living under false pretenses for likes,” Dr. Bashan says. “Social media has given us the false perception that so many people are living large and have the most idilic lives in comparison and the average person can’t live up to these ideals so they instead present themselves in an inflated manner to impress others.”

While struggling with self-confidence may lead someone to bio-bait, they may also be seeking outside validation by using this misleading and toxic dating technique. “I think overall what we see see with those who choose to purposely misrepresent themselves in the dating world is that they lack integrity, confidence and feel that they have to overcompensate with something they find inferior about themselves - confident well-adjusted human beings do not engage in deceptive dating practices because they’re seeking true love and know that real recognizes real and doesn’t tolerate anything less,” Cotter explains.

What are the warning signs that you're being ‘bio-baited’?

Bio-baiting is more subtle than catfishing and some other dating trends, but there are some things you can watch out for if you’re worried this is happening to you.

Dr. Bashan says that you should pay attention if they’re stories are inconsistent, "they’re vague in their responses, their lifestyle doesn’t match the photos they’re sharing, they delay meeting in person or on video, if they have overly polished or generic photos, lack of follow through, avoidance of introducing you to their friends and family, avoidance of showing you their home, withholding identifying information that could reveal who they truly are.”

Not only will people lie about who they are, but someone who is bio-baiting is probably being dishonest about what they’re looking for in a relationship, too. “If nothing matches up, you’ve been bio-baited,” Cotter warns. “For example, if in their profile they make it a point to state they are seeking a long term relationship and then become standoffish when you start to talk to them about deep relationship goals, and they minimize and/or dismiss your viewpoints, they may just be seeking a hook-up.”

If you realize you are a victim of the ‘bio-baiting’ dating trend, what should you do? 

If it feels safe, tell the person directly that you know they are misrepresenting themselves and how that effected you and then disengage. Dr. Bashan recommends seeing a therapist and talking with close friends and family about the experience to help you move past it. It’s also important not to "blame or shame your self as this can happen to anyone, disengage with this person as they are quite literally lying to you about who they are and a healthy relationship is anchored in trust which you can’t have in someone who has lied to you right from the outset," Dr. Bashan says.

Once you’ve confronted them, it’s time to walk away and block them so you don’t waste any more of your time on someone who is willing to mislead you. “There’s nothing hot about lying and wasting someone’s time and that will incentivize against them putting someone else through that in the future,” Cotter says.

If you realize you are the one doing it, what do you do?

If this turns out to be a “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me,” situation, then the first step is to force yourself to stop and seek help. “If you are the one who can’t help but cause people harm by implementing bio-baiting into your dating strategy, do everyone a favor and seek therapy to build your self-esteem,” Cotter recommends. “Until you find authentic self-love you will not be equipped for a substantial, meaningful relationship.”

Once you’ve been bio-baiting for a while, it can be hard to stop so you’re going to have to make a concerted effort. But it’s also important to be kind to yourself as you go through this process. "It almost becomes a reflex that you have to catch before doing it which means you have to slow down, monitor yourself, consciously make the decision to be honest and authentic,” Dr. Bashan says. “You may have to engage in an exercise of actually identifying what that truly is since you may be buying into your own false narrative because you’ve been repeating it for so long. And most importantly, have compassion for yourself.”

Sources cited:

Dr. Frankie Bashan, an LGBTQ+ matchmaker and sex therapist, who also founded the queer matchmaking service Little Gay Book.

Dylan Thomas Cotter, a trans activist, former adult entertainer, Scruff dating app ambassador, and author of Transgender & Triggering The Life of Dylan Thomas Cotter.