Ian McKellen Wishes He Had Come Out to His Dad As Gay Before Death

Sir Ian McKellen is opening up about something he wishes he had gotten the opportunity to do — tell his dad that he’s gay.

The legendary actor sat down for a lengthy and fascinating interview with BBC2’s Amol Rajan recently, talking about a number of things including his thoughts on straight actors playing gay roles and his own experiences growing up gay in a time when it was ultimately illegal.

But what stuck out the most during their conversation was McKellen’s regret about never having the chance to talk to his father about being gay.

“He’d been to see me at my first show in the West End, I’m always glad of that,” he recalled, referring to the 1964 production of A Scent of Flowers.

Three weeks later, his father died in a car crash.

A missed opportunity to come out to a loved one can leave a number of unanswered questions after their death, but McKellen is confident that his dad would have loved him just the same.

“The idea that he couldn’t have coped with the fact that his son was gay is inconceivable to me, even though I’m not aware that we had any gay friends or that he’d ever thought about it or that it had any impact on his life,” he said. “Therefore it might have come as some sort of surprise to him, but there would have been no moral judgement.”

The Lord of the Rings actor came out publicly in 1988, and still has no regrets about opening up in that way, at that time.

“It changes your life utterly,” he said. “I discovered myself and everything was better. My relationships with my family, with friends, with strangers, and my work got better as I wasn’t hiding anymore.”