The Greatest Things About Dating an Older Woman

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I’ve written at length about the fact that I’m dating an older woman and am a huge advocate for doing so. My girlfriend is 30, my last girlfriend just turned 27, and the only other woman who I was “semi-serious” with was a week older than me (OK, she doesn’t really count, but we didn’t actually make it official, so...).

Now, I totally realize that for every “older woman” there’s also a younger woman, like me, who makes that pair, and "older" is relative. But I don’t care, because I’m never the older woman and I have a dozen reasons why I like it that way.

1. They’ve gone through a lot of shit that you are going through/will go through, so they have a bit of wisdom.

I wouldn’t say it’s that much more than what you would probably be able to muster into your brain while “learning your lesson,” but it can be really comforting to hear stories from your girl about how she fucked up in the exact same way you have.

2. The sex.

I tried to give you at least one thoughtful and emotional response before letting you know that sex with older women is just better. It isn’t just one aspect of the sex that makes it better with older women, but I feel like they’re just more comfortable exploring their needs and desires, and vocalizing them while it’s happening, than younger women are. Which is hot and really satisfying.

3. They’re closer to discovering their style uniform.

If that phrase is a new concept for you, I suggest Googling it, because a style uniform is something that all women, especially queer women, should be working toward. Knowing what you look hot in and what works for your body type, coloring, etc., will not only make getting dressed in the morning faster and easier, it will also empower you as a woman. And when you have an example of someone who has achieved it (or is closer than you), it makes your journey easier!

4. If you’re dating someone in their late 20s-early 30s, you’ll be dating them while they reach their sexual peak.

This is a scientific thing, and it doesn’t mean it’s all downhill after “the peak” but rather that older women finally feel free enough to have the best sex of their lives. That means easier and better orgasms, more desire, greater intimacy, and more romance.

5. They have probably seen more movies than you.

That’s just a fact. They’re older than you, they were alive before you and understanding the complexity of film before you, and thus can share all their cinematic love with you. It’s a wonder to watch an ’80s movie you’ve never seen before, let alone heard of, when your girlfriend is a mega-fan. Seriously, movie knowledge is fun and terribly sexy.

6. The same goes for books.

They’ve had more time to read books than you have and have likely had different teachers, classes, and required reading lists than you have, so they can share with you all the best and most impactful books they’ve ever read. I’ve also found, that a lot of the older women I’ve met have a tendency to annotate their books, so if they lend you their copies, you might get to take a deeper look into their minds and understanding of literature.

7. And for music!

I can’t even tell you how many more bands I learned about after dating all the women I’ve dated. Or even just learned to have a greater appreciation for. It’s so weird how hearing how much a musician touches a person can make you a bigger fan.

8. They probably make more money than you.

Which is not a reason to date a person ever and definitely not a rule to live by, but if they do, they might be able to guide you if you’re a total shithead with money (which, let’s be real, most of us 20-somethings are). And speaking from experience here, they can definitely help you gain confidence to work on your career and negotiate a salary when the time comes!

9. They’re pretty down to do whatever you want to do.

Want to go the club? They’ll probably go if you ask them nicely. Want to go to a nude beach? They’ll definitely be down. Want to go do acid in the park? It’s probably a go. They’ve seen it all and gone through most of the young and free phases, which means they are happy to watch you navigate yours.

Briana Gonzalez lives and works in San Francisco with her girlfriend and their two pugs. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.