9 things only lesbians and bisexual women understand

The queer community as a whole has so much in common, but there are certain things you probably just don’t get unless you are a queer woman.

Lesbians and bisexual women have a shared experience that other people just don’t get. There are dating experiences unique to sapphics, fashion choices that we own, and sex positions that we love, even if everyone else raises an eyebrow.

These are the things that unite lesbians and bisexual women because we all just get it.

1. The heartbreak of crushing on a straight girl

This is a problem every sapphic has probably experienced at least once. Falling for your straight friend or the cute barista who you know has a boyfriend is practically a universal experience and that heartbreak can be intense.

2. Sapphic couples will restore your faith in love

This year alone brought us Robby Hoffman and Gabby Windey's adorable and often hilarious relationship, KStew proved that just because you starred in the most hetero vampire movies of all time doesn’t mean you can't find queer love when she married Dylan Meyer, and Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd hard launching their relationship showed up just how hot — and sapphic — basketball can be.

3. Rachel Wiesz and Brendan Fraser will forever have us in a chokehold

Rachel Wiesz and Brendan Fraser in the Mummy was a formative experience for all bisexuals of a certain age who looked at both stars and asked themselves: “Por qué no los dos?” And luckily for the bi community, the hot duo is headed back to the silver screen to reprise their roles in a new Mummy movie. The bisexuals are really winning right now!

4. Flannel never goes out of style

Fall and winter are flannel season for the straights, but queer women own that look all year long. Add in layers, a beanie, and a pair of docs, and you’ve got the cold weather lesbian uniform.

5. Scissoring isn’t just a sapphic myth

The heteros out there may be obsessed with the logistics of it, but sapphics know the scissoring isn’t mere myth, it is a very real sexual position that can be a lot of fun if done right.

6. Short nails are superior

Short, neatly kept nails clearly make the most sense for obvious reasons, but if you love having long nails (we totally understand the desire to have claws!), then the lesbian manicure is your best bet. IYKYK.

7. Flirty with a woman is harder than it looks!

Picking up women is so much harder than with men. It can be tricky when the woman thinks you’re just being nice and complimenting her when you’re really trying out your best flirting moves. Sometimes you even have to throw in a "Also, if it wasn't obvious, I'm flirting with you” before she takes the hint.

8. Your straight friends will INSIST on setting you up 

Inevitably your straight friends are going to try to set you up with the only other queer woman they know. It’s like they assume if you both like women you’re automatically going to be compatible. Bless their hearts. But honestly, we don’t even always mind because dating apps are brutal and see above about the whole flirting thing.

9. Older women are so hot

Lesbian and bisexuals don’t buy into the bullshit heteronormative ideas about women losing their sex appeal at age 30. Women age like fine wine and Older Wiser Lesbians have so much they can teach you — both in life and in the bedroom. Sapphics will never fall into the Leonardo DiCaprio trap because have you seen how hot Gillian Anderson and Jenny Shimizu are?