5 Uniquely Queer Insecurities That Have Nothing to Do With You

We’re a new generation. We’re queer. And we have new insecurities that come from being a queer millennial. While many of us share these insecurities, the good news is that they actually have nothing to do with us. 

Here are some insecurities we face and the truths behind them.

1. You’re not queer enough.
No sexuality or gender is “queerer” than any other sexuality or gender. Because I’m bisexual, cisgendered, and currently in a different-sex relationship, I sometimes think I’m not as queer as others, and that I don’t deserve to sit at the queer table. But this is just me being insecure. Of course I’m queer. Of course you're queer. There’s no competition on who’s the queerest.

2. You feel guilty being promiscuous.
Hook-up apps have made it easy... A little too easy. As long as you find yourself being able to go out on dates with men, and not just hook-up, then you have nothing to worry about. The only time it becomes a problem is if you start foregoing real relationships for hook-ups. Did you have to cancel your date with a guy you were talking to and were really excited about because the night before you stayed up late hooking up with some dude you met on Grindr? Then it might be time to delete some of your apps. Until then, enjoy having fun without judgment.

3. You think your body isn’t good enough.
There are times I go out to queer clubs, look around, and notice that every man has a six pack. Every man has a great ass. Every man has arms the size of footballs. I imagine a gym with a 100 beautiful gay/bisexual men lined up in a row squatting, planking, and curling. I have no idea where they find the time and money to look the way they do. It took me a while to learn and truly believe this, but their bodies take nothing away from yours. Their bodies are awesome, and so is yours. 

4. You’re afraid of acting “too gay.”
What does this even mean? Your shorts are too short? You shout, “Yaasss” too often? I have some news for you. If you are a man who is solely physically and romantically attracted to other men, then you are gay. Not too gay. Not a little gay. Just GAY.

5. You don’t want to use PrEP.
If you are a single, sexually active man who has more than the occasional one-night stand, you should seriously consider taking PrEP. I’ve spoken to many gay and bisexual men who feel there's no reason for them to be on PrEP because they “usually” wear condoms with guys. Why risk it? We are so lucky to live in a time where this is an option. Take advantage.