10 Signs You're Co-Parenting Your Girlfriend's Cat

Your girlfriend has always affectionately referred to her cat as her furbaby, and you swore you’d never be one of those people. Well, I have some bad news. All the signs are there. You’re no longer the cat’s cool but flaky aunt. You’re officially Mom #2. Let’s look at where you went wrong.

1) You scoop litter without your girlfriend asking.

You didn’t clean the litter box because your girlfriend asked you to do so. You didn’t clean the litter box because there was a dire need to do so. You cleaned the litter box because you’ve come to appreciate Mr. Snickers and feel he has an air of sophistication about him, thus entitling him to defecate in a spotless area. Congratulations. You’ve just taken the first tumble down the slippery slope of co-parenting your girlfriend’s cat.

2) You believe the cat’s appearance reflects on you.

You groom him accordingly. You brush him daily, clean his teeth, and even bought a cat safe nail polish online that you’re excited to try out after a date with your girlfriend next Saturday. Guess what? Only cat moms know there are cat safe nail polishes.

3) You have argued with your girlfriend over raw cat food diets.

You have become equally convinced at different points that a raw diet would a) keep him from dying, or b) totally kill him. You have tirelessly researched the pros and cons of a raw diet for Mr. Snickers, and have passionately argued both for and against the practice. Plus, you’ve spent at least half a paycheck at some trendy raw pet food store, and the other half on replacing all his dry cat food. 

4) You’ve coughed up cash at vet visits.

When you were cleaning the litter box of your own accord and noticed a change in consistency after starting the raw diet, you didn’t hesitate to drive your girlfriend’s cat to the vet. Sure, your girlfriend would be home from work in just a few hours, but Mr. Snickers was slightly uncomfortable and couldn’t be kept waiting. 

5) You added your girlfriend’s cat to your holiday gift lists.

You bought heart-shaped cat teats for Mr. Snickers on Valentine’s Day to match the heart-shaped cookies you bought your girlfriend. You dressed him up Artemis from Sailor Moon on Halloween. You bought him a tiny Santa hat, and even carefully cross-stitched a cursive Mr. Snickers on to an old knitted sock to use as a Christmas stocking. Face it. You’re a lost cause.

6) You have more pet names for your girlfriend’s cat than for your girlfriend.

Sure, you might throw around an occasional honey, baby, or sweetheart with your girlfriend, but nothing compares to the numerous pet names you affectionately coo at her cat. Snicker Doodle, Candy Baby, Peanut, Snicker-doodle-do, ‘Lil Nougat, and Sneaky Snickers are just the tip of the cutesy name iceberg. 

7) You have more cute cat photos on your phone than cute couple photos.

It’s not your fault that Mr. Snickers is extremely photogenic. It is, however, your fault that you set up an elaborate photo shoot with multiple costume changes to match his nail polish, and moved all the lamps in the living room in order to highlight his best angles.

8) You’re not afraid to play bad cop during bath time.

Just showering your girlfriend’s cat with love, attention, pet names, and gifts doesn’t necessarily make you a co-parent. Literally showering your girlfriend’s cat does. You have the scratch marks to prove it. 

9) You make room for your girlfriend’s cat in bed.

You scoot two feet away from your girlfriend every night so Mr. Snickers can sleep in the middle. Your girlfriend protested at first, insisting Mr. Snickers would be fine at the foot of the bed, but you defended him. “He gets scared at night,” you said. “He’s just like a little toddler.” Secretly, you knew he would be fine too. You just like waking up to his adorably tiny face.

10) You worry about your girlfriend’s cat being a single child.

When you start browsing your local humane society’s website, you’ve made the final fall down the slippery slope of cat co-parenting. Be sure to buy some extra toys so Mr. Snickers won’t have to share last year’s holiday haul with his new sister, Kit Kat.