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7 Lesbians You Dated In College That Belong In Your Past

7 Lesbians You Dated In College That Belong In Your Past

7 Lesbians You Dated In College That Belong In Your Past

We’ve all been at the proverbial shit end of the stick when it comes to dating, and nobody knows what it’s like being in the trenches quite like a young, college age lesbian. And it’s because when you first come out, you’re in such frenzy of excitement, it’s like you have forgotten how to pick good, compatible humans, that would actually be a fit for you.

Somehow, in an odd turn of events, all us post-grad lesbos ended up with these types of women (or some iteration of them) at one point or another during college. Luckily these women are now exes, and we’re here to tell you: they belong in your past.

The Bro


There’s nothing wrong with loving sports, having an affinity for bro fashion and or actually loving the taste of Bud Light, but when all those traits are in one, and there are misogynistic undertones to every thing she utters, just know that it’s a NO GO.

The Straight BBF


The heartache that ensued from sleeping with your straight best friend and inevitably hoping the two of you would make a power couple, and live happily ever after (despite the fact that she still slept with dudes while you were looking for monogamy), only to have your dreams and friendship shatter all around you, is a mistake you will only make once.

The Gym Rat


We are full supporters of getting your fitness on, but the level of gym time that your ex deemed acceptable just wasn’t normal. You shouldn't have been down with having gym dates (literally going to the gym and calling it a date non-ironically), having someone bark at you about the food you ordered out or sit on fitness Instagram accounts for the latest butt workouts. Don’t do that again. Normal fitness goals is what you’re looking for, not “I’m not training to be a personal trainer, but I might as well be.”

The Nomad

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Wanderlust is majorly attractive, but what isn’t majorly attractive is a person who decides to “take a year off” in the middle of school to stay in Spain after not getting back on the cruise ship during Semester at Sea, and ultimately forgetting about the fact that you’re dating. Word from the wise—she won’t know where she’s going to want to live after college, and will likely stay in the city but also, tell everyone she’s “moving to SF, moving to Tulum, moving to Prague,” every few months. You don’t need none of that.

The Instafamous


The allure of having a girlfriend with a moderately insane Instagram following was definitely real, but that doesn’t mean she’s quality girlfriend material ladies! Constantly having to “work on her brand” which means work on her photos, her persona, etc., can start to make you feel really irrelevant. Plus, it’s never fun to be around a complete narcissist all the time.

The Barely Legal


Although this was totally by accident, you found yourself dating the 18 year old girl at 22, and it just wasn’t right. She had just got to college, you were about to leave, and you two were in completely different points of your life. She wanted you to buy her booze, and you wanted to go chill at a dive bar and not be bothered. That age gap looks a lot less weird once she’s past 21, we promise.

The Crust Punk


She didn’t go to your school, you met her at a seedy local show, you smoked way too many cigarettes with her, and were inspired to stop shaving your pits due to her influence. She’d make a great friend (I'm sure) but you don’t need this sort of apathetic, “I don’t care about shit,” shit in your life.

Who else did you date in college that you think belongs in your past? Let us know in the comments below!

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author avatar

Briana Gonzalez

<p>A proud, queer, Latina, identical twin with a penchant for brash humans and things that make me cough laugh.</p>

<p>A proud, queer, Latina, identical twin with a penchant for brash humans and things that make me cough laugh.</p>