Megan Rapinoe Beats France in Women's World Cup, Is US President Now

It's a great day to be Megan Rapinoe and a not-so-great day to be Donald Trump. (I mean, more than usual.)

The United States Women's National Team just defeated France 2-1 in the FIFA Women's World Cup quarterfinals, advancing to the semifinals against England on Tuesday in their battle for a fourth World Cup title. Openly gay midfielder/winger Rapinoe scored both goals for the U.S., just as she did in the previous match against Spain, making her the first in Women's World Cup history to score two or more goals in consecutive games in the knockout stage of the tournament.

The victory must be even sweeter for Rapinoe following a days-long spat with President Trump, who had another one of his Twitter tantrums after she scoffed to a reporter that she's "not going to the fucking White House" if her team wins the Women's World Cup. Trump tweeted (at the wrong Megan Rapinoe) that she "should WIN first before she TALKS," which might be part of the reason why she was striding around like a gladiator following her second goal today. 

Also, I think that means she's President now? Wikipedia certainly thought so for a while, and we all know Wikipedia is never wrong. (The page has been locked, FYI, stop trying to add it back in.)

I, for one, welcome our new lesbian soccer overlord — but if any American would like to dispute Rapinoe's claim to the White House, feel free to explain off the top of your head how the rules of soccer actually work. (Seriously, explain it to me, I never know what's going on.)

Yeah, this is kinda petty, and the U.S. still has two games to win before we can really roll out the gloating rights, but it's also way too much fun to pass up during Pride Month. Hail to the Chief!