Fox News Unleashes its 'Progressive' Stance on Sexy Female Comics with 'Bangin' Bodies'

Apparently Fox News, always on the forefront of feminist thought, is offering a big fat sigh of relief that female “funny gals” are now under pressure to be sexy, too. Fox’s ideal comedic women? Anna Faris, Olivia Munn, and Vh1’s Carrie Keagan (a former Playboy “Babe of the Month”).

“Entertainment expert” Patrick Wanis tells Fox News, “For women, frump isn’t funny any longer. The new female comedian has to be the sexual aggressor, sexually provocative, dominant and successful. Hollywood is now portraying women as the dominant force — the boss, the rescuer, the heroine, the hunter. Now women are being sexually provocative and sexually aggressive, rude and funny without the femininity or the class. Lucille Ball would never have played the aggressive, domineering nymphomaniac that Jennifer Aniston portrayed in Horrible Bosses."

Um, so Fox News is saying that Jennifer Aniston is better than Lucille Ball?

And what of our beloved intelligent, politically savvy, queer and queer-friendly comic legends like Rosie and Roseanne, one might ask.

“Rosie O’Donnell and Janeane Garofalo will be relegated to playing the female versions of Chris Farley. Hollywood doesn’t want a woman that is not sexually enticing like Rosie; it wants the sexual alpha female. The same trend is being seen on reality TV [with] Snooki and all the Housewives.”

Wait, what? So Snooki is hot, but Garofalo is not? When did the Real Housewives of New Jersey become sexually enticing alpha females?

According to Fox News, it’s only the latest of female comics who “combine funny bones with bangin’ bodies” but “old-skool” sitcom stars like Jennifer Aniston, Jane Krakowski, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus have thankfully “transformed themselves in recent years from somewhat awkward to stylish sex symbols.”

No news from Fox on how non-Playboy-ready funny ladies likeTina Fey, Amy Poehler, Melissa McCarthy, and Martha Plimpton—all who have top rated sitcoms on TV right now—fit in this ridiculous equation, but I’m sure a number of queer female fans have some suggestions for Fox News.

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