A year ago, right around Easter, television’s most adorable girl / girl doc couple Callie and Arizona were dealing with intense drama in the form of a marriage proposal, a life-threatening car crash, a baby and musical numbers, but it’s a relief to know that this year’s Easter-time episode just had Callie suffering from the green-eyed monster over Arizona’s past dalliances. Let’s just say that Arizona put her eggs in a lot of Easter baskets before Callie came on the scene.
Ep. 8:18 – The Lion Sleeps Tonight
The episode, for Calzona, kicks off with them chit chatting about the lion that’s loose in Seattle when Teddy comes along to say she’s been to a grief group over losing her husband. Arizona mildy admonishes Callie for not being supportive of that sort of processing. Just then, an ortho nurse named Colleen, whom we’ve never seen before (maybe only in the margins of the show) approaches and says it’s her last day.
Callie leans in for a hug goodbye, as does Teddy, but when nursie gets to Arizona she pauses.
“Is it okay if I give you a hug?” Colleen asks, prompting Callie to laugh and say, “Why wouldn’t it be okay?” But Callie’s about to find out when Colleen hangs on to Arizona for an awkwardly long and tender hug. Teddy, Yang and Callie trade WTF looks, and we just know that Arizona won’t hear the end of it.
For anyone who’s forgotten, Callie’s had her share of hospital ass, including Mark’s, who is now the father of her child, but that doesn’t stop her from obsessing about Arizona’s past -- with Mark of all people. She asks him if he knows anything about Arizona hooking up with ortho nurse Colleen.
“Ortho nurse Colleen? That would explain it. I’ve been trying to get her naked for three years,” Mark says.
“She never said anything and I work with Colleen everyday,” Callie says. “Do you think she has other exes here in the hospital?”
And here’s where Mark really gets Callie’s jealousy juices flowing.
“Probably, quit it. Stop thinking about the hot ortho nurse,” Mark says.
“Wait, you think she’s hot?” Callie whines.
Unable to leave it alone Callie rushes up to Arizona in the hallway and attempts to subtly – at first—extract the goods from her wife on what –or who—actually went down with the ortho nurse.
“So that was a little awkward, that thing with Colleen…” Callie says. “She got so emotional. It almost seems like you guys were a thing.”
“Yeah, she gets like that,” Arizona says. And, whoops, Arizona has just poked the bee in Callie’s Easter bonnet with a stick.
More on next page...
\\\
(continued)
“Oh really? She gets like that, like you know she gets, like you were a thing?” Callie responds in rapid Shonda Rhimes speak. Already worn down Arizona admits that she and Nurse Colleen were a little bit of a thing a long time ago. Callie is not assuaged.
“It seems like something you would have mentioned,” she says.
“Yeah, well, it didn’t occur to me,” Arizona says, just stoking the fire at this point.
“Have you dated other people in the hospital it hasn’t occurred to you to tell me about?” Callie asks, with an attempt at sounding casual.
“We’re not doing this,” Arizona says, putting her foot down.
“It’s totally fine. I’ll tell you about my exes,” Callie says, as if Arizona hasn’t lived with the specter of Callie’s love life day in and day out.
“I know about your exes,” Arizona says. Callie, being Callie, won’t let it go and asks Arizona for a number, making me think the episode is about to go all Ross and Rachel / Monica and Richard on Friends circa 1994, but it doesn’t quite get to the numbers game.
Arizona appeases Callie and says the number is one or two… Callie nods like she can live with that.
Later, in the cafeteria, Arizona takes Callie to the school of “careful what you wish for,” when Callie refuses to let it go.
Mark warns Arizona that Callie’s about to go over the edge.
“Just so you know, she’s tweaking about Colleen and all the others,” Mark says.
“Excuse me?” asks a hapless Arizona, and we just know that she's going to give Callie hell for talking to Mark.
“He doesn’t get to have that input in our love life,” Arizona says, which is really kind of fair, but Callie won’t leave it.
“Excuse me, Colleen was an ortho nurse. I saw her every day for two years, and I had no idea that the two of you…” Callie attempts to justify. “She’s seen you naked.”
At this point Arizona is worn down – or pretends to be.
“Okay fine. What do you want to know?” she asks, nonchalantly sipping on a straw.
“I want names,” Callie says.
Arizona points to just about every hot nurse in the caf saying, “her, and her.”
“That’s Noel, she’s not even gay,” Callie says.
“Well she was that night,” Arizona responds, but she’s not done yet. “Also Nancy in path, Meg in dermo, Nurse Tia (sp?), and her sister, but not at the same time,” Arizona finishes, crunching on a carrot. Callie’s gob smacked. She's not the only sex-positive wild woman in the relationship.
Following her eye-opening lunch Callie's obsessing over a list of names on the wall when Mark approaches and asks what she’s doing.
“Trying to figure out how many dermatology fellows my wife’s banged,” Callie says.
Mark urges Callie to get over it. “Everybody has a past,” he says.
“I’m fine with her having a past. It’s just, I didn’t know I was working with it and operating with it – seeing it in the cafeteria,” she says.
It’s bad when Mark is the voice of reason but he is here – sort of. He explains that Arizona is fully aware of Callie’s past, and wakes up everyday with reminders of it.
“Yeah it can’t be easy for her,” Callie admits.
And here’s where Mark’s out-sized ego blows it. “Easy? Knowing you’ve been with the golden boy of this hospital?” Mark says. “The woman’s in hell Torres.”
Callie stifles a smirk and sets off on her way.
More on next page...
\\\
(continued)
That night Callie arrives home to find Arizona enjoying a post-shift glass of vino (my kind of girl).
“Here’s the thing, I do know about your exes, and frankly, sometimes it sucks,” Arizona says as Callie removes the wine from her hand and places it on the table. Callie’s level of trust to remove that wine glass from Arizona’s hand proves they are solid. Some girls are like a dog with a bone when you try to take the glass away.
“I don’t like knowing, and sometimes it drives me crazy,” Arizona continues to blather as Callie removes her jacket.
“There’s a good reason I didn’t tell you about my exes,” Arizona says as Callie rips off her own shirt to reveal a pink bra in honor of Easter (that's what I'm going with anyway). “Because I was trying to marry you,” Arizona adds.
“I understand,” Callie says as she unzips Arizona’s sweater.
“Okay, because I thought we were fighting,” Arizona says.
“Oh, we totally are,” Callie adds, kissing Arizona before slinking off to – presumably – the bedroom, or the laundry room, or the balcony if there into giving shows…
Cheers to Grey’s for giving Callie and Arizona more action than the rest of the horny staff combined – this season anyway!
Follow SheWired on Twitter!
Follow SheWired on Facebook!
