Things Get 'Steamy' on 'Project Runway'

What's black and white and gorgeous all over? Some of the designs from last night's episode of Project Runway, that's what.

When the fabulous Heidi Klum announced the challenge for this week's Project Runway, it was plain to see this was going to be an entertaining episode. The designers were carted off to the  offices of the Los Angeles Times and told they'd be making their outfits out of copies of the newspaper. Nice product placement there Lifetime.

This season has been one of the most competitive in Project Runway history with the overall quality of the designs quite high from nearly all the competitors. With a few repetitive exceptions, of course. As the judges noted this week, just making a good, wearable design doesn't cut it with this bunch of designers. To win a challenge, they have to really work their asses off for it. Last night, the top contenders did just that. Some of the paper outfits from last night wouldn't look out of place on a runway at Bryant Park.

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Before we get to the runway, however, we have to do our weekly drama shout out. Especially since this week's episode was extra tasty. First we had designer Nicholas once again showing off his inner bitch by proclaiming Johnny and Irina don't deserve to be in the competition and calling Shirin "an 11-year-old girl who doesn't shut up."

Then we have Irina bashing Althea over her win last week, saying it was undeserved. Even quiet cute boy Logan got a bit catty, complaining over Shirin's constant chattering to herself in the work room. But the real drama was all about Johnny and his Hitchcock horror movie dress design.

First of all, how many women really want to walk around wearing giant origami birds clawing into their shoulder? Second, why on earth would you sloppily paint your dress the exact color of freshly spilt blood? Sadly, Johnny actually seems to think his design is hot. Tim Gunn, doing his rounds of the designers, is forced to open his eyes to the truth. "I'm woeful Johnny," Gunn tells the designer, "because right now it looks like a craft project gone awry... it looks like a bunch of kindergartners did it." Ouch. Adding insult to insult, Gunn says Johnny's origami art makes it "look like the birds attacked the dress."

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Gunn's deadpan wit sends designer Nicholas into a fit of giggles, which frankly, we felt was a totally appropriate reaction. Johnny's design was full-on hideous. In response to Tim Gunn's criticism, Johnny wads up his dress in a fit of pique and tosses the whole thing. He then throws together some piece of crap replacement and sits down to do a crossword puzzle. But that is not the end of the drama of the bloody Hitchcock dress...

The first indication Johnny isn't done getting in trouble over his failed dress comes when his model arrives for a fitting. Johnny lies through his teeth and tells her his first dress was ruined when he tried to steam it and "water got all over it." WTF? Even worse, he's decided he is going to stick to this story - all the way through judging panel.

When runway time arrives, once again the judging panel is missing Michael Kors and Nina Garcia. Instead, Tommy Hilfiger, Zoe Glassner of Marie Claire and Eva Longoria Parker were on hand to tear up the contestants' designs. What the hell is going on here? And why is Lifetime keeping silent about their missing-in-action judges? Hmmm...

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The best designs this week were mercifully obvious the minute the models strolled down the catwalk. Christopher wowed with an impressively beautiful mock-feather dress that honestly should have taken the top prize.

That honor went, however, to Irina's paper trench coat with ruffled neck and sleeves. At first I was a bit put-off by this design, but after staring at it for a while, I realized this thing was amazingly well-crafted. Irina probably deserved the win just for the time spent making that collar.

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Althea also landed at the top of the pack with a very architectural dress emphasizing her model's "booty." The design was decent and the pattern of the dress interesting, but the overall fit was messy and bunched up in the middle.

On the losing side, Nicholas' so-called 'punk' dress was compared to a cockroach and Gordana made the mistake of creating an outfit that was too "wearable."

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In other words, her dress looked so much like an actual, real piece of wearable clothing, it wasn't interesting enough. Remember what we said about just making a good design doesn't cut it this season with such creative designers to contend with? It was liar, liar Johnny though that ended up the true loser of the night for his pointy eyeball cocktail dress.

It was obvious event to the judges that the dress was put together at the last minute and very little effort was put into it. Instead of owning up to creating two bad designs in the same night, Johnny tells the judges the same lie he told his model - that his first dress was ruined when he was ironing (paper???) and the steamer got water all over it. Even more outrageous, Johnny says his first dress was "hardcore... it was very like... Dior." Nicholas, rolling his eyes, just can't take it and tells the judges "it was not a Dior, it was a red mess." While we never approve of throwing your competitors under the bus, this time we have to forgive Nicholas for his rudeness - because Johnny was flat out being an asshat.

Even Tim Gunn agreed Johnny went way over the line. After Johnny thankfully and deservedly gets tossed out on his ass by the judges, Gunn couldn't help but comment over the whole drama. "I'm incredulous of that utterly preposterous spewing of fiction that Johnny did on the runway," Gunn told the remaining designers. "It was ridiculous!"

We couldn't have said it better Tim. Though we probably would have said it with less syllables.

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