“So, the end of The L Word, what did you all think?”
It was the first thing my professor asked me in class Tuesday morning. Albeit, it was Psychology of the Lesbian Experience -- more affectionately known as Dyke Psych on campus -- she still asked.
I cringed at the question, regretting not exchanging any sexual favors for a view of Showtime on anyone’s television screen within a 50-mile radius. And yes, I’ve had offers. What was I doing last night that was so important again?
I won’t spare you the details on how I watched it -- it was illegal, and I’m sure the girl studying for her chemistry final next to me didn’t appreciate it.
That said, I know we were all waiting for the big send off. I was crossing off dates on my calendar for the highly anticipated, spoiler-generated, fan-crazed demand for the return of Carmen de la Pica Morales. I didn’t believe it would actually happen. There was only one episode left. How could anyone write a character back into the story in such a short amount of time? Oh. Like that Ilene...you tease. You really had to do us like that, didn’t you Ilene?
By the way, could we make it any more obvious that the rail was fucking broken, thanks to their faulty construction worker? Please tell me it wasn’t Candace. Oh wait. She was a carpenter wasn’t she? Same thing. So of course we all knew 20 minutes into the episode that Jenny was indeed not killed with a candlestick in the library by Ms. Scarlet. No she was she wasn’t what was she?
In a recent interview with Advocate.com, Dollhouse babe Eliza Dushku dishes that she would totally and absolutely love to inhabit a gay persona for one of her Echo imprints. In fact, she highly suggested it and said she wants to play a dominatrix in a hot black leather suit for the rest of the season. No. Forget the leather suit. She wants to wear nothing. Just handcuffs. And a whip. Yeah A whip. Ok, ok so she didn’t really say that. Surprising though, right?
Here’s what she said when asked if she would ever inhabit a gay persona.
"Absolutely. We had one script that didn’t quite make it this round -- it wasn’t quite what Fox wanted for the first six episodes. It wasn’t the issue itself that was the problem -- the script just didn’t quite fit. But if you know Josh and my own feelings on this issue -- it’s part of our society, our culture, our lives, and it’s so relevant, so we hope to tell that story in the next thirteen."
We hope so too Eliza.
In other news, ABC just announced that it’s adding Rebecca Romijin to its trio of witches for their new pilot Eastwick, a drama based on John Updike’s novel The Witches of Eastwick, which was subsequently made into the 1987 hit film starring Cher, Michelle Pfeiffer and Susan Sarandon.
The pilot for Eastwick will be Romijn's first foray into television since leaving Ugly Betty. She’s slated to play a single mother with a cutting sense of humor. Not bad casting at all. Now, if she lives up to that character description, it would be good. So good. Because, let’s face it, we all now how good Rebecca Romijin is at playing bad. Case and point: Mystique from X-men. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say, thanks to her, I would never know how sexy snapping a security guard’s neck with bare legs could ever be. Did I just say that out loud?
Moving right along, in an Interview with Parade, Sienna Miller dishes about her smooch with Keira Knightley in their new movie The Edge of Love
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As Miller tell Parade, it was really not the big deal everyone made it out to be:
“It all went way overboard. I'm not sure how it all got leaked. Suddenly, in England, there were like these tabloid headlines, "Lesbian Romp ‹ Miller and Knightley." It was hyperbolized to the degree of just complete ridiculousness. There is a scene where our lips meet very briefly, and that became the big lesbian kiss. And we do take a bath together but it's not very erotic. There'll be a few disappointed men, I'm sure.”
Did anyone else’s heart break? Yes Sienna, there will be a few disappointed men. But there will also be A LOT of disappointed women. You know who you are. By the way, I couldn’t help but notice that Sienna sounds a lot like I did when I first kissed a girl. Yeah, it was just a kiss. Our lips met. Just a little. Like not even for a second. Maybe there was some tongue. And ok, maybe we cuddled later too. Only for like 20 minutes though. We timed it. Yes, there was spooning. And is there any possible way for bath not to be erotic? I didn’t think so.
And if you’re gaydar hasn’t gone off yet, here’s what Miller had to say about her relationship with Knightley:
“We're both quite nerdy. We talked about books and we played cards and did the Guardian crossword puzzle. There was a lot of that. Keira is learning the flute at the moment and I'm learning the piano, which I used to play when I was younger. So we really were nerdy, living together in this house in Wales, walking around in our pajamas and going for long walks.”
Do they drive jeeps too? And how much do you wanna bet that their pajamas are flannel?
So please don’t kill the messenger for this news, because believe me, it broke my heart too, but it appears that the relapse Mariska Hargitay suffered last week was a bit more serious than first thought.
"Mariska is recovering well and is expected to return to SVU in the next couple of weeks," her camp said in a statement.
Weeks?! Weeks?! Do networks know how long that is in TV land? Now before we all go crazy, SVU sources report that Hartgitay’s absence will only translate into one missed episode. I guess we can live with that right?
Helping fill the void will be Stephanie March, whose ex-ADA Alex Cabot begins her six-episode return engagement tonight. You’ve got a huge void to fill Stephanie March. Let’s not be too critical ladies. We all know she can’t point a gun like Mariska can, nor does she sport those power suits as well and let’s not get started with the. Ok, I’m stopping before I depress myself.
