Meet Your Magical New Gay Guardians: Fairy God Bottom & Glitter Fantasy

fairy-god-bottom-and-glitter-fantasy
Brendan Haley

The combined talents of LA-based comedians/performers Zach Noe Towers and Jake Dupree have blessed the world with its newest gay, magical obsessions!

Fairy God Bottom bippidy boppidy booped his way into our hearts as part of a series distributed by the Los Angeles LGBT Center about sexual health education.

And Glitter Fantasy, Cosmo's very own unicorn correspondent, is on a mission to spread glitter and happiness to the farthest corners of the world through dance.

PRIDE traveled far into the mystical realm to meet and chat with both Glitter Fantasy and Fairy God Bottom!

PRIDE: Can you tell us about how were you created?

Zach: When the LGBT Center asked me to come up with some funny creative content that could help with being proactive in your sex life, I wrote this series of videos. Closer to filming, my co-star Ian was like "You’re kinda like my fairy god bottom." and that was it, so they took it and they ran.

Fairy God Bottom: Well, if you jiggle a bottle of truvada three times, a fairy god bottom pops out!

Glitter Fantasy: Jake DuPree is a desperate wannabe who needs me to attempt to be famous. I basically saved him from his boring existence. I met him one night in his dreams. My sparkly, gorgeous lips gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek, and he instantly fell in love with me. Every night he would visit me in his dreams, and he would accompany me on all daily chores and adventures. Of course I felt like he was stalking me, and eventually I did learn to really like him. But I have to be careful of human friends because they tend to use me and other unicorns to find fame and Instagram followers.

Jake: I initially got involved with Cosmopolitan and Glitter Fantasy through a good friend. He approached me because Cosmo wanted to have a unicorn correspondent on a talk show pilot, and he asked me to send in a taped audition of me talking about unicorns. Basically he knew that I had no shame and loved magical things and that I would be willing to do whatever. After the pilot was shot, Cosmo decided they wanted to run with me and the unicorn character. 

Is there a signature power Fairy God Bottom and Glitter Fantasy have?

GF: I have two signature powers. The first is the ability to change people's lives just by being in their presence. I could elevate them mentally, spiritually, sexually, physically, disturbingly, and freely. My other power is to grant wishes. They often don't come true.

FGB: There’s so much bottom-shaming in the gay community, so if anything, I'm here to help put a stop to bottom-shaming.

Do any of you have something you'd like to say or teach to the president?

GF:  I have many things I would like to say to the president. But mainly, I think it is ridiculous that he claims he has any interest in truly helping humans because the only creature on Earth that can do that is me because I'm magic. Duh!

Zach: I’m confidant a preschooler could teach the president something. I don’t even want to teach him anything, I just want him gone and so does Fairy God Bottom.

Jake: Glitter Fantasy is definitely sending a clear message to everyone in this crazy political time. He wants everyone to be unapologetically themselves. It's time to be visible and confident and fluffy or pink or sparkly or obnoxious. And to the president and his administration, just know that glitter never goes away!

Tell us a fairy tale.

Zach & FGB: Once there was a young gay man who wanted nothing more than to go on a date. Not a hookup, a good old-fashioned date. One night he was visited by his Fairy God Bottom.

"Try Grindr, trust me," advised Fairy God Bottom.

After a whole day of messages he still had nothing to show.

"I told you it wouldn't work!" said the gay man. 

Fairy God Bottom just laughed, "Try Scruff."

"But Grindr didn't work, why would Scruff??" argued the gay man.

"Trust me," Fairy God Bottom said. And after another day of swipes, again the gay man had no date in sight.

"I told you it wouldn't work!" he yelled. Fairy God Bottom just smiled.

"Try Chappy," he said with a smirk.

"You're KIDDING!"

"Trust me," winked Fairy God Bottom.

The next day he sat in a coffee shop, chatting for hours. As he was starting to hit it off with 'Midwest87' his phone died. This set the young gay man OFF. He got up and stomped on the ground, cursing his Fairy God Bottom.

"I knew this wouldn't work! Now how am I even supposed to Lyft home with a phone as dead as my love life!?" Just as he was packing up to embark home, he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Frustrated, he whipped his head around, only to lock eyes with the cute ginger he had been sitting next to all day, but didn't notice because his eyes were buried in his phone.

"Need this?" an iPhone charger dangling from the ginger's fingers. "I'm about to go up and grab a refill. Can I get you a anything?"

The young gay man couldn't help but smile. Just as the ginger went to grab him a coffee and muffin, the Fairy God Bottom reappeared.

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you! I got my date after all!" the gay man said.

"That's so good to hear! So which app wound up working?" asked FGB.

"None of them, I met my date the old-fashioned way! Wasn't that part of your plan?" asked the gay man.

"Oh! Uhhh, yeah! Duh! OBVIOUSLY" Fairy God Bottom stuttered back. And who's to say it wasn't? Regardless the young gay man got his date, and he couldn't have done it without a little help from the apps, and his very own Fairy God-Bottom.

Jake & GF: Once upon a time, Glitter Fantasy was born out of wedlock between two unicorns trapped in a circus. His mother had followed his father to this circus because she thought it would be totally awesome to follow this young hunk, even though she was leaving behind a life as a princess of Unicornocopia. His father accidentally impregnated his mother when the condom "mysteriously had holes in it" as she was not trying to trap his ass. After giving birth to this gorgeous baby unicorn, daddy quickly ran away from the circus. Glitter Fantasy and his mother returned back to Unicornocopia. Her mother and father were not too pleased to see a child born out of wedlock, but all of the tabloids and unicorns became obsessed with the new baby. They paraded him around as far and as wide as the kingdom spread. (And trust, unicorns love to spread!)

As Glitter Fantasy began to grow up, he became so delusional and wanted more and more fame. His mother became his momager and helped to launch his career into superstardom by getting a reality show for him and endless amounts of products to sell to the magical creature masses!

Eventually he decided that he wanted more from life. He wanted to truly help the truly unfortunate beings of the world: humans. He had never been to Earth before, and he thought now is the time to take his sparkle, his charm, his wit, and his body and change human lives forever. They needed glitter now more than ever, and he was not going to rest until his assistants and crew made everything better for these humans. It takes a village, and he does not want to do any of true work to make it better! But he definitely will take all the credit. And hopefully, because of him and his jumps, kicks, leaps, and turns, humans will live happily ever after.

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