PSA: Stop Starting Wildfires With Your Tacky Gender Reveal Parties
PSA: Stop Starting Wildfires With Your Tacky Gender Reveal Parties
The latest is burning through California.
You’d think people would have learned gender parties were a bad idea after plane crashes, death, and an $8 million wildfire, but some people just have to figure things out the hard way.
The latest gender reveal party-turned-massive catastrophe has ignited yet another wildfire, this time in California, where fire season is still going strong.
A “smoke generating pyrotechnic device” used during one of these genital-obsessed nonsense gatherings is responsible for the blaze that’s already burned through nearly 10,000 acres in San Bernardino County since it began on Saturday.
Surveillance footage of the incident shows that the family hosting the party attempted to put out the fire with water bottles, according to CalFire investigator Captain Bennet Milloy. The footage has not yet been released to the public, but video of the fires burning through Southern California are more than enough to know this is a disaster:
\u201c2020 is just showing off now. \n\nThe El Dorado Fire, burning in San Bernardino County, California, was caused by a \u201csmoke generating pyrotechnic device\u201d \u2014 used AT A GENDER REVEAL PARTY...https://t.co/ZZ70pzEruA\u201d— Rex Chapman\ud83c\udfc7\ud83c\udffc (@Rex Chapman\ud83c\udfc7\ud83c\udffc) 1599487855
\u201cA gender reveal using explosives started a 7k acre wildfire... congrats doodoohead\u201d— \ud83c\udf52 Aunty Chan \ud83c\udf52 (@\ud83c\udf52 Aunty Chan \ud83c\udf52) 1599500645
Literally the only good thing that ever comes from these gender reveal parties, regardless of whether they result in public chaos or not, are the responses on Twitter as everyone remains perpetually baffled as to WHY THIS IS STILL HAPPENING.
\u201cI remember my wife and I\u2019s first gender reveal party. It was her, me and the doctor in a safe office and he said \u201cit\u2019s a boy\u201d and we smiled and went home and called people.\u201d— devon sawa (@devon sawa) 1599525743
\u201cThe gender binary is an environmental hazard\u201d— Che (@Che) 1599458806
\u201c"why are you so obsessed with gender," the cis folk ask, before burning down more of california with a party themed around their baby's genitals\u201d— Janine \ud83c\udf3a Flora \ud83d\udcf4 (@Janine \ud83c\udf3a Flora \ud83d\udcf4) 1599486238
\u201cThe first Plague of Egypt was a gender reveal party.\u201d— Noam Blum (@Noam Blum) 1599566489
\u201cTHIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED AND I\u2019M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT YOU WILL FIND OUT YOUR CHILD\u2019S GENDER AT SOME POINT BETWEEN THEIR FIRST AND THIRTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY AND YOU WILL DEAL WITH IT\u201d— Julia Carrie Wong (@Julia Carrie Wong) 1599453006
And the jokes are hilarious, but also everything is still on fire.
\u201cYou can only do a gender reveal party in the Toei rock quarry.\u201d— (The Big Bad Bunny Daddy) Stephen Garza (@(The Big Bad Bunny Daddy) Stephen Garza) 1599532304
\u201cOk so a gender reveal party that starts a huge fire, but the baby grows up to be the fire fighter that puts that fire out \u2764\ufe0f\u2764\ufe0f\u2764\ufe0f you guys I\u2019m sobbing, someone call HBO\u201d— Michael Benjamin (@Michael Benjamin) 1599532693
\u201c@sarahschauer gender reveal party where we line up our closest friends and family and we all make them swallow an unmarked egg, one of which has a creature that will hatch inside of them and claw their way out of their stomach, revealing the baby's gender (blue creature for boy !)\u201d— sarah schauer \ud83e\udd82 (@sarah schauer \ud83e\udd82) 1599554484
\u201cIf your gender reveal party kills a bunch of people it\u2019s most likely a white male.\u201d— The Volatile Mermaid (@The Volatile Mermaid) 1599577244
\u201cMy gender reveal party will be a plane crashing straight into a mountain. If the smoke is black it\u2019s a girl, if the smoke is grey it\u2019s a boy, if the smoke is white we have a new Pope.\u201d— ines helene, ShroomGirl (@ines helene, ShroomGirl) 1599541008
\u201c[the streetlights burst. the stars blink out. hooded figures surround us]\n\nme: *to wife* omg is this a gender reveal?\n\ncultist: hail satan. the union of these mortals shall bare his child, The Antichrist\n\nme: will it be a boy or a girl?\n\ncultist: why are you so fixated on this\u201d— soul nate (@soul nate) 1599526240
\u201cGender reveal parties have caused more damage than all the BLM protests combined.\u201d— Mark Russell (@Mark Russell) 1599521538
And here’s your friendly reminder that even the blogger who popularized gender reveal parties wants it all to be over.
"Stop having these stupid parties. For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kid's penis. No one cares but you," Jenna Karvunidis wrote on Facebook. “Just because I'm the gEnDeR rEvEaL iNVeNtoR doesn't mean I think people should burn down their communities.”
If you have to tell everyone about your unborn child's genitals, just do it on Facebook like a normal person!!! Or better yet, just stop caring so much.
