Another day, another absolute nightmare name being floated as part of Donald Trump's incoming cabinet.
Trump makes enemies wherever he goes and thinks the height of debate is making up insulting nicknames for his political rivals, but now that it's time to fill his cabinet, he seems to have forgotten all of the ridiculous barbs and childish fights he got in over the years.
Case in point: Florida Sen. Marco Rubio. Trump has announced that he's planning to appoint Rubio to serve as the next U.S. Secretary of State — the country's top diplomat, a position once held by Hilary Clinton in the Obama administration — despite the fact that the two men once got into a dick measuring contest.
During the Republican primaries in 2016, the MAGA leader called Rubio "little Marco," a "liar," and a "choke artist" — an oblique reference to Rubio supposedly choking on water when he was responding to one of Obama's State of the Union addresses, but it sounds like Trump was saying something very different about Rubio's…skill set.
The Floria Senator responded by mocking Trump for having "small hands" and his silver-spoon upbringing by saying, "A tough guy? This guy inherited $200m. He's never faced any struggle."
Yes, you read that right. Two Republicans spent the 2016 debates when the GOP was trying to decide who their presidential nominee was going to be, making fun of the sizes of each other's…poles, like a couple of middle schoolers.
Frankly, both men should probably refrain from any more dick jokes because Stormy Daniels has the market cornered, hilariously calling Trump's penis "unique and horrifying" and "like a toadstool." Ouch.
Of course, eventually, Rubio saw the writing on the walls and decided to kiss the ring and endorse Trump and is now set to become the first Latino Secretary of State. Everyone knows that people who engage in weird dick-measuring contests should be entrusted with negotiating with foreign leaders. Right?
How is this reality not a parody?
Adam Schiff (L), Letitia James (C), and James Comey (R) — all political opponents of Trump indicted or investigated on dubious accusations.Sheila Fitzgerald/Shuttershock.com; lev radin/Shuttershock.com; mark reinstein/Shuttershock.com
PFLAG National CEO Brian K. Bond and Edith Guffey, chair of the PFLAG National board of directors.Paul Morigi/Getty Images for PFLAG National
Former Massachusetts U.S. Rep. Barney Frank addressing a crowd at a PFLAG event.Paul Morigi/Getty Images for PFLAG National
U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters talks about her relationship with former U.S. Rep. Barney Frank.Paul Morigi/Getty Images for PFLAG National
U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters accepting a PFLAG award.Paul Morigi/Getty Images for PFLAG National
Former Rep. Barney Frank and Kathleen Sengstock.Paul Morigi/Getty Images for PFLAG National
Rep. Maxine Waters and PFLAG National CEO Brian K. Bond.Paul Morigi/Getty Images for PFLAG National
L-R: Jim McGreevey, Jolanda Jones, Erica DeusoJamie McCarthy/Getty Images; Brett Coomer/Houston Chronicle via Getty Images; ericadeuso.com
