Every Pride season, we hear those tired old cries of "Why is it all about the gays? Why can't we have a Straight Pride?" This year, Twitterers are using the #INeedStraightPrideBecause hashtag to explore exactly why this is such a goddamned stupid question...

10. Because LGBT people are perverts and we're not

9. Becausehomophobes are an oppressed minority.

8. Because you should be more grateful to us.

7. Because we don't like you getting any attention, damn it.

6. Because it's totally NOT a homophobic idea at all, mkay?!

5. Because we want to celebrate how faithful and traditional we are compared to the dirty gays.

4. Because we're the normal, respectable people - not you.

3. Because queerness is just rammed down our throats 24/7.

2. Because we're so discriminated against.

1. Because lesbians don't fancy us and we're bitter.