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17 Genius Tweets from the Person who Allegedly 'Sits Next to Kim Davis'
Sometimes the Internet is really smart and funny, and these Tweets about anti-gay Kentucky clerk Kim Davis are just that.
Kim Davis, the anti-gay county clerk from Rowan, Kentucky, is in jail now for breaking the law by not signing marriage licenses. The media attention that has zeroed in on the county courthouse over the past week or so has no doubt been a major disruption for Davis’ colleagues, but it has also brought the rest of America entertainment in the form of any number of memes.
(RELATED: 15 Genius "Sit Next to Kim Davis" Tweets that Sum Up the Absurd Pro-Kim Rally)
One enterprising Twitter user has made an account that purports to give us a first-hand account of events from the woman who sits next to Kim Davis.
"I sit next to Kim Davis. This was supposed to just be a chill job. Goddamn it, Kim," reads the account bio.
@nexttokimdavis has been a fantastic, albeit curse-filled, reprieve from the gravity of the same-sex marriage debate. Here are some of our favorite tweets from the account.
\u201cGODDAMN IT, KIM, I CAN'T DICK AROUND ON FACEBOOK WITH FUCKING ANDERSON COOPER WAVING A CAMERA IN MY FACE!!! #KimDavis\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441153560
\u201c#KimDavis says her biblical views means she gets a whole fucking shelf in the break room fridge.\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441155369
\u201cWe just told #KimDavis that @ActuallyNPH is gay. She's crying in her office. We also told her he's married to @thefredsavage. LOL\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441218707
\u201cMeeting: "I didn't work my ass off to get this job..." YOU GOT YOUR MOM'S OLD JOB, #KimDavis\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441212366
\u201cSomeone changed #KimDavis homepage to @AfterEllen. She's discussing "legal options" with her lawyers right now. (I THINK IT WAS TODD.)\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441210985
\u201c#KimDavis - DID GOD ORDER YOU NOT TO REFILL THE XEROX TRAY, TOO? GODDAMN IT SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GO HOME TO OUR FIRST HUSBAND\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441235496
\u201c.@ThaKiddJopp She's not stopping gay marriage. SHE'S JUST STOPPING ME FROM HAVING A QUIET GODDAMN LUNCH\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441243592
\u201cTODD JUST EXPLAINED TWITTER TO ME. HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DO I NEED TO GET A BIGGER BOOK DEAL THAN FUCKING #KimDavis?\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441258962
\u201cCOME ON DOWN TO THE ROWAN COUNTY CLERKS OFFICE AND ILL MARRY A FUCKING CHAIR TO A TIGER. #KimDavis\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441300843
\u201cWe all agreed that if #KimDavis falls in love and wants to marry her cell mate, we'll let her, but we're going to be dicks about it.\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441303973
\u201c.@gaynewsradio I WILL MARRY YOU TO ANYTHING YOU GODDAMN WANT TO MARRY. BRING DIET DEW\u201d— GAYBC NEWS (@GAYBC NEWS) 1441307178
\u201c.@coralannn61 MY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ARE NOT TO HAVE GODDAMN @MSNBC EMPTYING THE CANDY BAR MACHINE. WHY DON'T I GET THOSE\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441304838
\u201c.@petermarksdrama - #KimDavis has already won the "Sarah Palin Medal Of Freedom."\u201d— Peter Marks (@Peter Marks) 1441302889
\u201c.@richypants great. I've got aFUCKING THURSDAY off. Who wants to go day drink ? No one - they're at FUCKING WORK. #KimDavis\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441300267
\u201cNow we're listening to "I kissed a girl" on repeat!! Need more suggestions for our #KimDavis jail mix!!!\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441294353
\u201c.@orlandorentas I'm sorry - have you not noticed that no one here gets fired for NOT DOING THEIR FUCKING JOB? #KimDavis\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441235496
\u201c#KimDavis - DID GOD ORDER YOU NOT TO REFILL THE XEROX TRAY, TOO? GODDAMN IT SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GO HOME TO OUR FIRST HUSBAND\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441235496
