I’m afraid they’re going to suck all the grit out of women’s softball. The World Cup has been going on and I’ve been watching and wringing my hands. All the girls have their hair bundled up with sparkly ribbons and glittery headbands. What the hell is that all about? How much flair do you need to fast pitch a ballgame?

Makeup seems to be an obsession with team USA but I don’t see the Australians and the Japanese with foundation caked on…and eye liner…like a beauty pageant, I tell you. I fear that the sport has given in to the hetero syndrome. Heaven forbid that these ladies look like they mean business and someone says they’re gay.

Don’t they know that playing softball doesn’t make you gay and make-up doesn’t make you straight? I have very good friends that seem to wake up with hair coiffed and eyeliner applied. Some even admit to playing with the Barbie Friendship Airplane in their formative years…and yes…they are all gay as three-dollar bills.

It’s great that ESPN has the championship on and I can see why the ladies want to look their best on camera, but I bet they all would pick the homerun over the pastel blush and eye shadow. If they feel like they need a little something extra then give them some sponsors and slap some cool decals on the uniforms.

Now that I’ve completely dissed Team USA for wearing all that makeup, I’d like to say that at this moment they are 5-0 and in the championship game against Australia, mascara or no mascara. I want to applaud ESPN for not cutting to commercial when the catcher (Stacey Nuveman) slaps the pitcher (Monica Abbot) on the ass after striking out the last batter. Seems that when left to their own devices these ball players really do get into the game and the sports fan in me can appreciate it.