10 awkward things that happen during pillow talk

Sex is great, but post-sex pillow talk can be awkward AF.

​The sex is over. You’re lying there, eyes closed, probably breathing heavily, smiling. You open your eyes, look at the person next to you (or on top of you, or underneath you) … now what?

Sometimes you chat, sometimes you bounce, sometimes you start a relationship you never thought was possible. Either way, here are 10 awkward things that happen during pillow talk.

1. "What's your name again?"

We're all pretty guilty of this here. Hookup culture is rampant within the gay community, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's also not necessarily anything wrong with forgetting something like a name, but it can be super uncomfortable if you're wildly into the person you're with and they come out of the experience already forgetting who you are.

2. "You should know..."

There's almost nothing that can follow "you should know" after sex that isn't awkward. It could be informing them about a lover they have, a sexually transmitted infection they carry, emotions that have developed, anything. Get the conversation out of the way before the sex.

3. "Want to be exclusive?"

Sometimes, you’re really just in it for sex. Maybe you’ve met on an app, or at the club, and you really hit it off. Sometimes, the sparks really fly in the bedroom, and one of the two partners gets bamboozled. It can be really awkward to have a conversation about a one-way relationship while you’re cuddling after sex.

4. "Should I stay or should I go?"

Maybe you thought he was going to stay and cuddle, but he throws on his pants and heads straight for the door. Or maybe you thought he was going to call an Uber, but he asks to spend the night. Either way, having that “Now what?” conversation can be pretty awkward.

5. "I've never done that before."

Maybe you got fancy with a finger or worked some tongue magic that sent him over the edge. Hearing this line after sex can be a huge compliment. But what if he really means he hasn’t done, like, any of it before — like, you’re his first? Again, this could be hot for some guys, but if it wasn’t brought up beforehand, it could lead to some awkwardness.

6. Ghosts of lovers past

7. Best in show

Making claims like “that was the best sex/BJ/orgasm/etc.” right after sex is awkward because we know you’re lying. Or, if it really was the best you’ve had, we suddenly feel obligated to agree — and again, we’d probably be lying.

8. Say what?

Sometimes in the heat of the moment, we say things. Maybe we swear like a sailor; maybe we use weird pet names; maybe we ask to be called things we’d never say otherwise. What’s said during sex should stay during sex. Getting asked, “What did you mean by…?” right after the big O can be a little embarrassing.

9. "A" for effort

We can be a pretty judgy lot, but no one wants detailed notes on their performance right after sex. “This was good, but next time try this” or “you could really work on your technique” or “all it would take is as few trips to the gym per week to get that tightened up” are things most of us would not want to hear. All we really want is a nice cuddle.

10. Secrets don't make friends

“My husband” or “my boyfriend” are words you certainly don’t want to hear right after sex unless (a) you are the husband or boyfriend, (b) there’s an open relationship understanding that was previously communicated or (c) you just enjoy a good home-wrecking.