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10 New Movies We Wish Were Musicals

10 New Movies We Wish Were Musicals

10 New Movies We Wish Were Musicals

Because everything's better if Idina Menzel plays a spaceship.

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Once a year, usually around Christmastime, a big movie musical based on a Broadway show comes out that shoots for all the Oscars and iTunes sales it can manage. Last year, we got up close and personal with the dirt-covered, tear-stained French folk Les Miserables. This year, it's the Meryl Streep and Anna Kendrick (and a lot of other people)-starring Into the Woods that's getting the big-screen treatment, and we're nearly too excited for the Sondheim magic. But wait! There's another movie musical coming to a theater near you, and while it's bound to be nominated for many less Oscars, Annie's revamped Sia-fied score still has us bopping. But wait! There's even more, because the day before 50 Shades of Grey comes out, you can see The Last Five Years starring, once again, Anna Kendrick. It's truly a grand time for musical movies some might say, but we say, "Not. Grand. Enough." Why stop now? We imagined a winter 2014-2015 season that goes Broadway or goes home, and we're pretty damn pleased with ourselves. Here are the Top 10 movies we wish were movie-musicals, and we urge you to contribute your own as well. Musicals forever!

10. Jurassic World: The Jurassic World trailer has gotten some criticism for its similarities to imagery from other Jurassic Park films, but you know what would set it apart? Song and dance! This theory’s actually been kind of tried and true in the celebrated parody musical Triassic Parq, but now it’s time to bring this theory to the big screen. What could possibly be better than a tap dancing T-Rex or Bryce Dallas Howard howling a power ballad while blood and terror rains down upon her creations? Nothing, I tell you. Nothing.

9. The Theory of Everything: A controversial choice perhaps, but when well-made a dramatic musical can really say a lot more than just a plain ol' movie can. Stephen Hawking bursting into song is the last thing you’d expect, but maybe that’s what would make it even more amazing. And we all know Eddie Redmayne can sing because he brought the house down over all those empty chairs and empty tables in Les Miserables. Now this isn’t just Oscar bait anymore, it’s Tony material.

8. Interstellar: Interstellar was called out for having some scientific inaccuracies and too loud of a score, but you know where that doesn’t matter? Musicals! Cast Idina Menzel as the space ship and no one will care how loud it’s zooming around, as long as it’s power belting all those high notes. And Anne Hathaway already got an Oscar for sorrowfully weeping on camera, so who’s to say lightening can’t strike twice? Consider our tickets purchased for midnight.  

7. 50 Shades of Grey as a Beyonce Jukebox Musical: We can take or leave 50 Shades for an endless list of reasons, but we all have to admit that Beyonce’s remix of “Crazy In Love” in the trailer brought tears to our eyes. So we started thinking, what if 50 Shades was a Beyonce jukebox musical? Or perhaps just completely muted and set to a score of Beyonce songs like one long music video? It’s not even a question of would we see it, but could you ever make us leave the theater? 

6. The Babadook: You probably haven’t heard of this Australian horror film, so if I told you it was a musical you might actually believe me. Alas, this much buzzed about spooky story (the trailer is actually terrifying) is not a musical, but hey, cross-medium adaptations happen all the time. Not to mention, Hugh Jackman is both Australian and does musicals, so he's a prime candidate for our new and improved singing Babadook. Another plus side (as if you needed more than Hugh Jackman as The Babadook): maybe this would be less chilling if these children's tunes became full-blown musical numbers? Although maybe it wouldn't be. Maybe it would be so much worse. 

5. Night at the Museum 3: Not even the other two. Just this third one. Hey, it stars Rebel Wilson who’s about to crush it in Pitch Perfect 2 in May so we know there’s some singing talent going on in there. Get Julie Taymor in on turning the museum creatures into giant awesome puppets who fly around a lot (but not as much as in Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark….) and we’ve got a show we can hopefully convince investors work before they all realize it definitely won’t. But it will! It will!

4. Cake: Do you know what would be much more impressive than Jennifer Aniston's daring physical makeover for Cake? If she looked that frumpy while doing a dream ballet.  Also, Anna Kendrick's in this one too so we know she's ready for a number or 15. This also begs the question, "What isn't Anna Kendrick in right now?" (Answer: There is literally not one movie Anna Kendrick hasn't been in in 2014). 

3. Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1: Jennifer Lawrence basically turned Mockingjay Part 1 into a musical when she sang "The Hanging Tree" and Lorde curated the soundtrack near flawlessly, but we can still add more to the equation. In this musical version, J-Law can stay, but Lorde should probably play all the other characters just to be safe. After all, we know she layers over herself quite nicely from "Yellow Flicker Beat", so we’re pretty sure a Lorde-exclusive cast is a safe bet for success. Only Lorde. 

2. The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies: They've tried Lord of the Rings as a musical (that's about to go on a world tour, no less), but they haven't tried The Hobbit! Since this is based in New Zealand, obviously Lorde will have to compose the entire score. And the one female elf will clearly have to be played by Anna Kendrick. Boom: blockbuster.

1. The Star Wars Trailer: It’s big news this week, so why not make it a big musical? Why not have the confused stormtrooper burst into song when he looks out at that vast desert? Don’t we want that bleep-blooping soccer ball-looking droid to bleep bloop in 4/4 time? And that three pronged-light saber thing? It would look great while wielded by Patti LuPone as she sings about how she’s gonna slay those Jedis. Yes, I know we just tapped into something major with Patti LuPone in Star Wars. And don't worry, if it doesn't happen this time, there are still plenty more potential Star Wars films that could star Patti LuPone. Never lose hope. 
30 Years of Out100Out / Advocate Magazine - Jonathan Groff and Wayne Brady

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