After years of intense speculation, The X-Factor season 13 winner Matt Terry is coming out publicly for the first time with his new single “His Car.”
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The new song, released today, details a relationship he had with a man when he was in his early twenties. The power ballad acts as an apology to the first guy he fell in love with, whom he asked to keep their relationship a secret.
“Is it the pain or is it the love that I should have him all along?/ I used to kiss him in the back of his car/ Hiding from the world who we are/ I’m sorry for every single lie,” he sings.
“I said to him, ‘You’re not allowed to tell anyone about this’ and he loved me enough to do so,” Terry explained in an interview with the Gay Times. “It’s such a regret of mine, and I’m just really sorry.”
The 30-year-old singer-songwriter said that dealing with the relentless tabloid coverage of his life and speculation about his sexuality was “f***ing hard” and he would “break into a sweat” any time he saw a chatter online. His manager demanded to know about his sexuality because the tabloids wouldn’t stop asking him about it.
“I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe,” he said. “I hadn’t spoken to my family. I hadn’t spoken to my friends. It was getting on top of me.”
This was especially upsetting because he was only 23 at the time and had yet to explore his sexuality. “The press, and people around me in the music industry, were asking me for an answer I could’ve give, because it wasn’t an area I’d explored yet,” he explained. “I’d never been with a man at this point. But, I knew that I wanted to explore that and it was a side of me that existed.”
Being hounded by the press caused Terry to take a step back from his music career, but now he’s back making music that is more personal than anything he’s ever created before.
“I am so ready to show who I am with my music,” he said. “Throughout the years, I’ve had media reach out and offer me money like, ‘We’ll give you this much if you want to talk about your sexuality,’ and I would say, ‘Absolutely not.’ I’m too proud and have too much self-respect. But now, I want to set the record straight with this song and video.”
Terry knows that publicly coming out as LGBTQ+ might attract the attention of hateful people, but he’s “very proud” of his sexuality and is “no longer afraid.”
“I have prepared myself for support and love, but I’ve also prepared for homophobia,” he confided. “I will have some unfollows, but I don’t care. I would rather have 200 followers that love me than 200,000 followers that are homophobic.”
The “Sucker for You” singer said that this time around, he “won’t be put in a box with my sexuality” because it’s only one part of him.
“It just can’t define the rest of my life and I won’t let it,” he said. “I’m in a really lovely place, and this is not a pity party at all. This isn’t, ‘Poor Matt, he went through so much!’ This is, ‘Matt has taken back the power and is doing it on his own terms.’”
Matt Terry’s new single “His Car” is out now.
