We’ve all heard or overheard a homophobic slur, and nothing could ever excuse it. Luckily, the LGBTQ community has some slick comebacks. Here are some of my favorites:

1. “You know it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve?”

Well, that’s interesting, cuz I don’t want Adam OR Steve…

2. “You can’t argue that it’s not natural. It’s meant to be man and woman.”

Not true. There are countless examples of homosexuality in many species. But homophobia only exists in one. You don’t see a dolphin being ignorant, do you? #DolphinPride

3. “But it’s just a phase. You’ll feel silly in the end.”

The only phase going on here is me trying to phase out your utter stupidity and misunderstanding of a very personal aspect of my life. I don’t call you being an asshat a phase, but clearly it’s part of who you are. 

4. “When did you choose to be gay?”

Say that again. But this time, on Twitter. *grabs popcorn*

5, “See, that proves it. It’s like a genetic fault or something.”

(This often comes up for me becauseI have an also-gay twin sister) No, we just grew up in a family that practices acceptance and equality, so are able to live openly. It’s called freedom.

5. “Were you sexually abused as a kid?”

Fuck you.

6. “You shouldn’t be allowed to adopt kids. It’s not natural”

You shouldn’t be allowed out in normal society. You’re too ignorant.

7. “But how do you know when you’re so young? You may change your mind.”

It’s not a favorite ice cream flavour, it’s my instinctive sexuality. I’m not just going to pick another one in five years. I am not the Neapolitan of sexualities.

8. “Don’t you want to lead a normal life?”

Yes, and I am safe in the knowledge that my life includes genuine love and a lack of unforgivable prejudice. You should try it some time.

9. “It’s natural selection. Evolution solves the overpopulation issue.”

Oh,  really? Perhaps natural selection also gave you your hideous discriminatory opinions. So that no one with half a brain would procreate with you. Phew.

10. “I could never date someone who had been gay, it’s weird.”

The feeling is mutual.

This list could go on forever. Sadly, homophobia is far from dead and buried, but it has quite the challenge ahead. With the LGBT movement gaining momentum, members and acceptance, homophobia will have to shut itself the hell up. After all… There’s no one who can get their way faster than irate queer people. It’s like, a sixth sense. 

About the Author: E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found on Facebook or via Twitter