Where the Girls Are on TV: Teri Hatcher, Katee Sackhoff, Portia de Rossi

I played hard to get with a girl once. She was beautiful, intelligent, witty and confident. She was poetry in motion and passion personified. She was undeniably charming and 100 percent intimidating?which is why I waited a full three minutes before I replied to her text message after I hadn't heard from her in days. In my defense, she had a valid excuse... Something about her grandmother? Or was it her uncle? Maybe her cat?

It doesn't matter now. Moral of the story: Can the gorgeous be forgiven? Duh.

On this week's Grey's, Arizona (Jessica Capshaw) catches a scorned Dr. Torres (Sara Ramirez), who had been successfully avoiding her for all 57 coma-inducing hetero minutes. Cue private elevator scene. Arizona exchanges niceties, and Callie isn't hearing it. Hell hath no fury right? I'd be a little bitter too if a delicious blonde babe wiped away my tears and kissed it all better, then called me a newborn the next week. What a tease.

 

 

 

But, I'll give it to the Pedes Surgeon for redeeming herself, admitting her misjudgment of Dr. Torres, spilling a couple secrets, (what was that about being a Type A? Tell me more, tell me more!), and even humbly asking Callie out to dinner. Quick on her feet however, Callie doesn't hesitate in saving a little face, and replies with a calm, cool, and collected, "maybe." But before the floored Arizona can even register her rejection, Torres stops the doors from closing dyke-style with a single arm, and asks if tomorrow will be okay. Not quite action, but Dr. T's smile as the doors close is enough to win me over. Looks like this couple is off the ventilator and back in stable condition. For now at least.

With the way these ladies take one another down a peg, it begs me to wonder how good they'll be at turning things up a notch. Please don't code on us now Grey's, keep this lesbian storyline alive!  

Taking a look ahead, the OC's bi-curious, resident alcoholic Marissa Cooper --may she rest in peace -- aka Mischa Barton won't be taking up residence in Cali once again to be on the CW's remake of Melrose Place, the 90s soap that followed a group of young individuals living in a West Hollywood complex together and all in pursuit of big dreams. Instead, she's packing up her flip flops and moving to a whole new county on the other side of the country for the new Ashton Kutcher-produced, A Beautiful Life -- a show following young models living and partying together in the NYC. That doesn't sound anything like MP does it?   Mischa's no stranger to a little girl-on-girl action that lasts more than 20 seconds of an episode, so let's keep our fingers crossed for a little model roommate romance. Even if it's just experimenting, we'll take it.  

 

 

 

So Desperate Housewives didn't need much more in their preview than that oh so familiar guitar riff and bass beat and those four words that Katy Perry's belched out more times than any lesbian this year to make me tune to into this week's episode. Oh the anticipation. Oh the questions. Oh the possibilities. Could it really be? Was this really happening? One of the housewives? And who would it be? Maybe two of them? Maybe all of them? No, even I knew that was wishful thinking. But it could've been big. Facebook groups were created. Fanfiction was being written. The countdown was intense. I donned my cherry chapstick and was holding my breath.

 

 

 

Susan (Teri Hatcher) kissed a girl. Susan kissed more than one girl. Susan kissed Gabby (Eva Longoria Parker)! Now, though one or more of these sentences should illicit wild and crazed excitement, DH has once again built up the much anticipated lip-lock between Hatcher and Longoria Parker, proving that they are still desperate for ratings.  

No one was experimenting. No one was curious. They were just drunk. (We've all heard that one before, right?) Needless to say it was as much of a tease as sorority girls crossing the street holding hands.

 

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The episode proved to be entertaining though, as Pushing Daisies' Swoosie Kurtz --who looks drastically different without the eye patch -- dropped by Wisteria Lane to play the school teacher cougar Jessie who misreads Susan's attempt to earn a sparkling evaluation as an invitation to take their workplace relationship beyond storytime.

The best line of the night goes to Teri Hatcher, as she tries to escape Kurtz's classroom seduction.  Jessie, persistent of the possibility that Susan could be in denial presses, "There's a lesbian inside of you wanting to get out." Susan, now stuck between a blackboard and Jessie, insists, "Actually I'm more worried about the lesbian outside of me trying to get in."

Touché.

Following an interesting metaphorical conversation involving rhinos and gazelles, Susan eventually clears the air, makes a friend, and loses a pair of very dykey red flag combat boots. No gay housewives. Yet.

And while Battlestar Galactica has just started airing its 3-hour series finale, the rumor mill  is hinting that BG's resident badass Kara "Starbuck" (Katee Sackhoff) is a favorite pick for next season's pilot shows that are currently looking for actors. We all know Sackhoff can operate heavy machinery and can seduce her way through a job interview and plays one hot, messed up anesthesiologist on Nip / Tuck.  What will they think of next?

 

 

But perhaps the cutest girls-loving-girls display on TV to date came Monday afternoon when Ellen Degeneres interviewed her wife Portia de Rossi for her new show Better Off Ted, which premieres tomorrow night on ABC. Ellen announced the interview about a month ago, and had been counting down since, and the two even released a rehearsal video making light of the situation.

 

 

With so much anticipation, the couple began charmingly awkward as Ellen tried to interview Portia as she would any guest --you would be awkward too if you were interviewing the love of your life who happens to be Portia de Rossi! -- asking her questions such as what it was like being newly married. The sappiest moment came as the couple started talking about that afternoon being their 7-month anniversary. The screens cut to a photo of their wedding day, and both agreed that it was the happiest day of their lives. Portia begins talking about her new show, in which she plays an icy, unemotional bitch --talk about typecasting -- and they play a couple clips of the show, including a very eye-catching scene where Rossi plays a magician's assistant. Ellen, you lucky bitch.

Ironically presented by eHarmony.com, a dating website most infamously known for not offering same-sex matching, Ellen and Portia then competed with a couple from the audience on The Newlywed Game, where players try and match their partner's answers.

With all their talk of marriage, newlyweds, and wives, it was refreshing to forget? if even for a moment, the heavy politics and burdens that are currently associated with those words, and witness the love and happiness that these two individuals have brought to one another.

It was the best kind of visibility we could have ever asked for.

 

Miss the last Where the Girls Are? Read it here!