This week we learned that Courtney Love is good in bed, does her kegels and banged Kate Moss in the 90s. Also that she wants to hate-fuck John Mayer with her powerful vagina. John Mayer is boorish and hate-fucking seems counter-intuitive, but I'm not going to say I wouldn't laugh if she were to snap his dick off with her PC muscles.
Courtney Love's vagina aside, there's a lesson in there about sexual self-confidence and feeling hot. Being confident in the bedroom starts with being comfortable in your own skin. You don't have to have a perfect body to be hot. Just about anyone will find you sexy if you feel good about yourself and make the person you are with feel good.
It's Summer, your skin is showing, here are some tips for feeling sexy:
Be In to Your Grooming
Be a little obsessive about your upkeep. Keep your legs shaved if you are into that kind of thing. Give yourself weekly pedicures. Be ready for sex even if you don't plan on having it. You'll feel sexier overall if you take time to primp. I once ended up in bed with a woman who kept putting my toes in her mouth--my mid-Summer, high-heel sandal wearing, callous-having, not fit for toe-sucking toes. This could happen to you. Be prepared.
Don't Criticize Yourself
How much time do you spend wishing you were thinner or hating parts of your body? Get over it. You are wasting your life worrying about things that no one else would judge you for. Silence your inner critic. If you don't like something about yourself, accept it and let it go. Get into the things you do like, like the way Courtney Love got in to her Kegels and bedroom skills. Being open minded and adventurous in bed is the hottest thing in the world.
You Need Cute Knickers and Bras That Fit
Go through your underwear drawer and start a panty improvement project. You know perfectly well that you've got a bunch of worn out chonies that you keep around for laundry days. Toss them. Get rid of anything worn out. If all your knickers are sexy you'll never get caught unprepared and wearing ugly grandma panties. How about your bras, do they fit? I once interviewed Elizabeth Squires, the author of bOObs: A Guide to Your Girls and the first thing she said to me was that my bra didn't fit. She has cupdar. She could tell, through my blouse, that I was a C cup trying to stuff my rack into a B cup. This is just as important if you're on the butcher side. Cleavage spilling out over the top of your sports bra is not a good look.
Solo Sex
If we weren't meant to masturbate, they wouldn't sell vibrators at the mall. So why not buy one and use it. Take time to figure out what turns you on. The more you know about what feels good, the more you'll be able to talk to your lover about it. Also, getting off is like a sport, the more you practice the better you'll get at it. Don't be shy if you want to use it during sex with a partner -- tons of women do it. Go ahead and bring it up. If your lover has any anxieties about it, encourage her to talk about them, and take time to assuage any fears she might have. It's not a reflection on your or your partner's bedroom skills. I know lots of porn stars who bust out their Hitachi when it's time to come. They bring it right to bed with them.
Read more of Diana's gems of wisdom.
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