10 Life Lessons We Learned from Piper and Alex on Orange Is the New Black

Orange is the New Black is not just a television show, it's a chance to pick up a lot of new, nifty life lessons. And who better to teach us these lessons than Piper and Alex (Taylor Schilling & Laura Prepon), the show's central 'Will they/won't they/they did/now they're in prison" couple. Our time spent watching their passion and consequent mutual destruction has prepared us to truly better our own lives. We don't just have a Netflix account, we have a learning opportunity. And so, here are the top 10 things we've taken away from the beautiful disaster that is Piper and Alex. (Warning: there's a touch of NSFW action in the gifs below. Proceed with caution/excitement.)

10. The mistakes of your youth will haunt you for a lifetime.

What you think is a one night stand might turn into a fifteen month prison stint several years later. Who knows? You don't. Not yet, you don't.

9. Cute girls will make you do crazy things.

Sometimes, that crazy thing is taking a long stroll in a scenic park at sundown. Sometimes it's smuggling drug money through customs in Europe. In the heat of the moment, anything is possible. Especially if said cute girl looks like Laura Prepon.

8. Maintaining personal hygiene is more fun with a friend. 

It also saves water, which is really important for, like, the world. So really, you're saving the world if you shower with your significant other or your secret drug-smuggling girlfriend. How globally conscious of you.

7. Find the perfect balance between work and pleasure.

You think this gif looks sexy? Well, they were also talking business. Work hard and play hard, but also try to work within legal constraints, or else you'll have to work and play hard in prison where it's a lot harder to get alone time. 

6.  Communicate with your partner as well as you dance together.

Admire the syncrhonicity. The grace, the splendor. If only Piper and Alex learned to communicate as well as they groove. (Note: ignore this advice if you and/or your partner is inherently and unavoidably a terrible dancer).

5. Try new things.

Once again, take this one with a grain of salt and an awareness of the law but, as long as it's all good and well, sometimes exploring a new opportunity can lead to a wonderful surprise! Alex was Piper's first girlfriend, and now the two are inseparable (partially because Piper maniuplated the situation, but still). Would perhaps not trying someting new have worked better for Piper in this situation? Arguably yes, but OITNB would be a lot less interesting if it had never happened. 

4. Appreciate the little things in life.

Going on exotic vacations can be a blast, but nothing beats taking a moment to lie down with your significant other and enjoy nothing but each other's company. Because at the end of the day, all we have is each other. However, that does bring us to our next life lesson...

3. Trust that everyone you know might stab you in the back.

Please note our use of 'might' and not 'will.' Odds are that everyone you know won't stab you in the back, but some people really might. Piper had to learn that the hard way when she lied in court to help Alex but Alex switched things up behind her back and told the truth. Alex went free and Piper paid...well, the piper. Au revoir Alex, though not for long...

2. When in doubt, use a grand gesture to get your ex's attention.

Whether it's showing up with a surprise flower bouquet or getting your ex sent back to prison, they're sure to notice the lengths you've gone to to make sure you two stay close. Will they love your efforts? Debatable. But hey, you're together again at last!

1. Don't make Piper and Alex your lifestyle role models.

They may be one of our favorite onscreen couples, but yeegads do they have issues. Sure, their ups are on fire with electric passion, but their downs are pretty substantial disasters. Disasters that look like Laura Prepon, but disasters nonetheless. If you walk away with but one life lesson, take this one to heart. However, while we recognize that Alex and Piper make one complicated couple in every way, there's nothing we love more than watching them try to it out. Now can it be June 12th already? 

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